Self-Compassion for the Homeschool Mama

You will be equipped with practical strategies to address your big emotions, create space for you, and instill activities to nurture the nurturer.

Is this you?

• You don't know how to deal with your anger or frustration when your kiddo is having big emotions (& you know you're making it worse in how you react...this was definitely me).
  
• You can't point a finger on it, but there's too many things going on & everything feels "too much". (This is the experience of overwhelm, too many feels.)
  
• You feel guilty too often.
  
• You don't feel good enough in what you're doing (or not doing).
  
• You want to show up as your best self, rather than with your tried & true (but not useful) patterns. (And you've truly tried all the things, but nothing feels like it's getting to the heart of this.)
  
• You understand that more is caught than taught in how you engage your kids, and that concerns you.
  
• You don't feel supported.

“With self-compassion, we give ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend.” --Kristin Neff

I often share with homeschool mamas that if they’re particularly heated with their kids, they should head to the bathroom mirror.

Stand in front of the mirror.

See that sad, exasperated, angry face?

What would you say that sad, exasperated, angry face if it were your friend?

You might say:

• I’m sorry you’re frustrated.
• I care about you.
• I’ve been there, done that. (Even maybe this morning).
• You’re a good mom; I see how you engage most of the time and you care about your kiddo.

What you wouldn’t say is this:

• You’re a horrible mother.
• You should never have had a child.
• You’re such a screw up.
• You will never learn how to parent with kindness/gentleness/self-control/you-fill-in-the-blank.

Nope, words you’d never utter to a friend.

So why are you doing that to yourself? (FYI we all speak more harshly to ourselves than we do to others.)

• How do you want to speak to your friends?
• Look back to your face in the mirror: speak to that “friend” in the mirror.

I came by this strategy on a day when I couldn’t access my husband by text. And not my good friend either.

So, who else was I going to talk with? Myself. In the mirror.

And I have since discovered that is a useful, though odd, approach to calming myself down.

And when I’m calm? I can decide how to intentionally respond to my anger/anxiety/sadness/other intense emotion AND head back to my homeschooled kiddos and engage intentionally.

Self-compassion begins with treating ourselves like our own best friend.
In this Intensive, you'll learn more than a few self-compassion techniques.

Can you stop for a minute and imagine something?

If you could delete your instinctive reactions...

• the ones you have towards your kids (maybe anger), 
• the ones you have toward yourself or others (not feeling good enough), 
• or the ones you have toward yourself (feeling guilt and shame in how you're overreacting)...
  

What would homeschool life be like then? 

Imagine if...

• You were practiced in the "pause" before you reacted to your child?
  
• You knew for certain you were honouring your child as a separate person?
  
• You had a plan to address your big emotions & knew how to be proactive and responsive, not reactive.
  
• You felt like you were enough, and you could do this homeschool thing with confidence.
  
• You felt supported. 
  
• You were super clear in when to include self-compassion strategies and how they'd actually benefit you.
  
• You knew you were teaching your child self-compassion strategies, emotional regulation & heathy communication too.

See what others are saying:

Maria says, 

"I wanted to share a small moment with you. One thing that I have done for myself since we talked is to set two alarms on my phone-one in the morning and one in the afternoon. When they go (a soft beautiful musical sound) off I pause, put my hand in my heart, and take a few deep breaths. The kids have occasionally been doing this too when they are with me and it goes off. The other day we were all in the kitchen when the alarm went off. All three of us stopped to put our hands on her hearts in complete silence and took deep breaths together. It was a beautiful moment. Thank you!"

Britt says,

"Teresa is a gift with the best humour. I am so blown away by the care you take to really get to know who you are mentoring/talking with. It's so rare these days." 

Carla says,

“Teresa is the real deal! An experienced homeschool Mom who’s been there and can help others get out of overwhelm. Her ability to hold space for silence and difficult feelings makes her “no small talk” approach so effective. I trust her. Her retreat, resources and support meetings have served me tremendously. I’m so glad she’s in my corner! 

Pat says,

"Ugh, the anger story brought back those memories for me - I am a "recovering" angry woman. Maybe a better way to phrase that is a "healing, work-in-process, ex-angry" woman...

I love that question about when kids disobey, "what would my best self do?" Never thought about it that way...

That's a great approach to "befriend" yourself in the mirror...I'm being very intentional about positive affirmations this year, but TELLING them to myself in the mirror sounds like a great extra step to take...

You're doing great work for homeschool mamas..."

Sonia says,

"My greatest insight is that taking care of me does not mean I’m being selfish or ignoring my kids’ needs, quite the opposite actually. The more I treat myself with kindness, listen to my needs and try to address them, the more at ease I will be and the more at ease my whole family will be. It’s all about energy. Using mine wisely to be there more energetically for everyone else."